To fully enjoy this trans-Atlantic "pen-paw" relationship, you need to know about the friends:

Tahash (it’s pronounced Ta’ha sh) is an American cat living in New Jersey.
Ioda (sounds like "Yoda") is a French cat (le chat) living in France.
Kallie is Ioda's adopted sister.
Bastet is Ioda's and Kallie's adopted little sister.
Susan/Suzanne is Tahash's servant - from and living in New Jersey.
Louise, Ioda's and Kallie's keeper, is from New Jersey, but lives in France.

Dear Ioda,

They say that curiosity killed us. Well, I can vouch that it did not kill me! It did not even give me a tummy ache. As you know, Ioda, I don’t eat any peoplefood. Yuck! But tonight Susanlady was eating this pretty pink stuff. That’s my favorite color, and I wanted to know what pink tastes like. I requested a lick of the container. She said OK, even if strawberry yoghurt is not for the cat. Well, it was interesting, but three licks were enough. Have you ever tried this?

Catlove, Tahash

Chère Tahash,

Non, I have never tried yoghurt nor even know what it is. As for pink, I know the pink of mouse-innards. Is that the color you mean? In that case, it must taste goooood! Mouse-innard yoghurt, what a find! I think I understand why your Susanlady likes this dish.

In fact, I suggest we establish a catfood company to process this sort of treat for us felines—fine mouse-gut fillet for the housecat who cannot catch her own. Kallie would be our head supplier. I would be the CEO (Chief Eater Of…whatever!). Bastet could be the taster—you know, the one who makes sure there are no toxins? When Kallie catches a mouse, she eats it all except for the liver, when there is bile in it, anyway. On our assembly line, we’d have to put a gag on Kallie to keep her from eating, because otherwise there’d be no end-product left. But, we’d need Bastet to check with her tongue that no bile has leaked through (hee hee)!, as that would spoil the treat for our future clientele.

Entrepreneurial catlicks, Ioda

Dear Ioda,

I agree. You have hit on something with this idea! Shall I suggest it to Purina? If we sell them the idea, they would do the work, and we’d just pick up royalties (that’d be appropriate for YOU!). This could be a money maker for us! Concerning raw materials and flavorings, though, I’d like to suggest catnip-banana splits… Recently, I have been going bananas over a treat Susanlady got me (see my photo attached, dear Ioda!).

Catnips, Tahash

Chère Tahash,

A little set-back: Bastet disagrees about the job I hand-picked for her, so I fear our company is down the drain. Yes, our only recourse will be to sell the intellectual property rights. Go ahead, call Purina!

So, Bastet has decided to become a writer. Not a mere columnist like you and me, but a WRITER. She is uninterested in the computer and prefers more traditional methods. This morning I saw her coming from Mme L’s desk with a ball-point pen in her mouth. She was holding it exactly the way Kallie carries a mouse. She walked toward our mistress and seemed to be asking, Would you have a sheet of paper to spare?

She also loves pencils. The softer the wood, the better. Mme L has one nice, dark blue one that is like a piece of Swiss cheese. It is so full of holes! And do you know what they are from? Bastet’s teeth. She chews her pencil as she waits for inspiration to strike.

I assume she is writing her memoirs, telling her readers how she got lost, how her inner compass brought her to our house, how her guardian cat-angel told her this was the best feline-buffet around… how Mme L is also a writer and could give her tips on how to get published and how to get on Oprah.

Catlove, Ioda

Dear Ioda,

Let’s give up the catfood enterprise—too much work. Bastet is right. I myself love banging on the computer keys. Roll-the-pencil can be gratifying, too. Although art doesn’t necessarily pay the way business does. If we had a little pocket money, we could go on vacation the way humans do. Susanlady tells me your catparents went to Spain and that now they are back! Did you get into any fun mischief and live it up when they were away? I’ll bet you had fun dancing at your local discothèque in the bushes when they were gone. Did they bring you any presents? Did they bring you some Spanish sunshine?

Olé! Tahash

Chère Tahash,

Nada nada nada. In case you are not guessing, that means “nothing” in Spanish. They brought me nothing, not one Spanish mouse. Eh, no hard feelings. It’s just as well they are back; chow’s more abundant now. The human who was staying here during their absence told them she found me snobbish. ME? Snobbish? It is simply my natural nobility and my aristocattic manners.

And then, do you know what Mme Louise said to her? “Ioda,” says she, “is my favorite cat, because she expresses my shadow side. She embodies all the arrogance and shrewish nature I don’t dare express.” MY OWN MISTRESS said that of me. I was devastated, Tahash. Well, perhaps SHE is MY shadow side? All the stupidity and klutziness I never express--she does it for me! Oh well, let bygones be bygones. She has the key to the can opener.

Shadowy cat-thoughts, Ioda

Ioda, dear,

Would you really compromise your self-esteem for a can opener? I think you should make Mme L apologize to HRFH (Her Royal Feline Highness). You don’t just run up to everyone like I do, making friends with them. To you, the human must first prove him or herself. I wish I had your class. You are a queen and should be treated as such.

Your friend and fan, Tahash

Chère Tahash,

Well, I have no time for reconciliations—I am too busy lamenting. Monsieur François has done A TERRIBLE THING. He has ruined the upstairs hall closet where I always used to hang out. I could get behind the wall and into the fiberglass, and now I can’t anymore. He has built shelves and installed them, and now they’ve put linens on them, and WHAT ABOUT ME? My nest is goooone. Every day, I meow in front of that closet, and every day, Mme L opens it up, and voilà, I’ve forgotten again (senior feline moment): the sad reality comes back. They don’t want me in there. I don’t even feel like climbing onto the blankets and sweaters. I far preferred the fiberglass.

Ruefully, Ioda

Dear Ioda,

How sad for you! Good luck in finding another secret place. Does your house have a lot of bookcases? I like to hide behind or on books. Susanlady laughs when she finds me pretending to be a book. There’s always under the sofa, but that is not original. Maybe your catmother will bring you a cardborad box. She could cut a little door in it to make a cat-house for you alone. Naturally you keep looking for your old closet. It’s like me meowing to get into the closet where I found a mouse two years ago. I guess we cats have memories like elephants for important things!

With memorable cat-caresses, Tahash

Chats with Le Chat Gourmet (click here), by Susan Marx and Louise Thunin-Domaratius, is a cross-cultural cat book cum easy-French-cookbook (for people!) all in one. Feline penpals exchange e-mails across the Atlantic: Ioda, born in Paris, is a black "allée" cat, while Kelly Kat Katz is a Jewish-Irish (vive la diversité!) American cat in New Jersey.