Right before the February issue of “Catnip Chronicles” came out, I had a real adventure. I was abducted, held hostage, and tortured, before Mom came to rescue me.

I wasn’t feeling well, so I spent a lot of time sleeping and cuddling up to Mom. That’s when she decided that I was losing weight and rushed me to THE VET.

Mom threw me into a carrier and drove me miles and miles in her meanie van. When we finally came to VETHOSPITAL, I was taken by VETTECH to be weighed. VETTECH was very kind and gentle, but had to blab to Mom and THE VET that I had lost another ½ pound.

You see, last year, I weighed about 10 lbs. I dropped to 8 lbs this year. Now, I had dropped another ½ pound and everyone went berserk. OK, I really didn’t feel well, but it was getting scary. I huddled in the back of the carrier until THE VET came. SHE dragged me out of the carrier and examined me carefully. SHE called it an examination. I called it touching me inappropriately.

SHE asked Mom some questions and then got Mom to agree that I should “stay the night”. “Stay the night” is VETSPEAK for: THE VET wants to conduct “experiments”.

Mom left me there. After she left, VETTECH and THE VET stuck needles in me, sucked out blood, and pumped in this thing that they called fluids. It was awful. I heard THE VET plotting what torture SHE was going to perpetrate on me next.

THE VET called Mom and told her that my white count was out of whack, and asked for permission to test me for FeLV. I got really scared then. Our Termie died from that when I was a kitten. That meant more needles and more blood being sucked out of me. Luckily, the test came back negative. That was good, but now it was more inappropriate touching, more needles, more fluids, and another blood sucking event. This was getting old, really fast.

Finally, SHE figured out that I had a kidney infection. SHE asked Mom to “keep me for a few days” to stick more needles into me and pump me full of antibiotics. Mom agreed. THE VET convinced her that it was “best for me”. THE VET is really good at conning Mom into doing her bidding. SHE’S sneaky that way.

For days and days I was stabbed with needles, pumped with fluids and antibiotics. Finally, I got the idea to lull THE VET into believing that I was HER friend. I ate what SHE gave me, I flopped over on my back to be petted, and I purred for all that I was worth.

It worked. Mom came and took me home. THE VET gave her pills to give me. I figured that Mom would throw them away, but Mom “pilled me” twice a day for 3 whole weeks.

I have to admit that I do feel better. I’m eating both dry and canned food. I’m drinking water, too. I’m not playing much, yet, but I sit around and watch everyone.

Mom is planning to take me back to THE VET for a check up, but I’ve decided that I’m not going. I’ll let you know next month how everything is.

Please Note: We learned 2/28 that Davey Jones is in the hospital and may be seriously ill. Please offer good thoughts, and prayers for him - and Maryellen. Thanks.