To fully enjoy this trans-Atlantic "pen-paw" relationship, you need to know about the friends:

Tahash (it’s pronounced Ta’ha sh) is an American cat living in New Jersey.
Ioda (sounds like "Yoda") is a French cat (le chat) living in France.
Kallie is Ioda's adopted sister.
Bastet is Ioda's and Kallie's adopted little sister.
Susan is Tahash's servant - from and living in New Jersey.
Louise, Ioda's and Kallie's keeper, is from New Jersey, but lives in France.

Dear Ioda,

I’ve just seen a C-rated (cat rated) video on YouTube about a woman who has acres upon acres as a home for stray cats. Cats everywhere, playing, having a ball. It looked like summer cat camp! Do you think we could go too? We could pay our way by being cat-socializers: teaching the ferals to play with humans and vice-versa.

I’m not sure what these cats do in the snow, though. It’s icy and snowy here today. A gray cat just ran by my window. It was amazing how she could run on the ice. And I don’t see how anyone can walk on the snow without sinking. I suppose I’d need boots, like Susanlady wears, but I far prefer my perch inside. If we go to camp, let’s apply for summer!

Catlove, Tahash

Chère Tahash,

We had snow and ice on the ground for over a week, and Kallie, Bastet and I all learned to skate. Nothing to it. As for walking on the snow, it wasn’t that deep. A bit chilly on the hindquarters, though, when one has to “go” (ahem).

As for summer camp, why not? But, we three already live in a controlled environment. We get called for breakfast and dinner. Not that we need to be called. And we even get hand-me-downs from the Administration. Mme L gave me a (fake) fur hat she doesn’t want to wear any more. It’s a great bed!

We are also flea and parasite controlled.

Beyond that, we are free free free! Bastet doesn’t even care; she’s a homebody. Kallie goes to the nightclub on the square even in the snow. I think there is some hot guy cat there who keeps her toastie. As for me, I socialized my catfolks long ago, and they usually obey me, opeing doors on request, offering laps on demand, opening refrigerators under threat, and so on. Well, concerning the latter, they are a bit learning challenged. Summer is still a way off, so we’ll see. Anyway, you can come visit us whenever you feel like it.

Catnips, Ioda

Dear Ioda,

I’d take you up on your invitation, if I could figure out how. Why couldn’t Susanlady just leave me with you when she goes on a trip? Actually, she’s planning one. I see that red suitcase on the spare bed. There’s a brochure lying near it about India, with information on cuisine. Is France on the way to India? Do you think they put curry in Indian catfood? I heard a cat over there is called a “billie.” Isn’t that a boy’s name? All cats in India can’t be boys, can they?

Tahash

Chère Tahash

I sort of doubt it. Anyway, wasn’t Billie Holiday a girl? And what is curry? Maybe if Purina exports to India, they put it in the food. Mme L is hinting, “Some like it hot!” What is she talking about?

She just told me the most extraordinary story that she heard on the news. It was about an airplane pilot who landed a plane on the Hudson River, and the reason the plane couldn’t keep on flying was that the engines were full of BIRDS. Mme L was rejoicing that for once there was some good news on TV, but are birds good news? In my plate maybe, but not in an engine. I am thinking I could apply to TWA (Trans World Animal) for a position as a bird –deterrer. Why were there no cats on board that plane to keep the birds away?

Yours, Ioda

Dear Ioda,

That was my thought, exactly! Where were the cats? Cats to the rescue! Send in the cats! Remember the song by Stephen Sondheim?

Isn’t it rich, are we a pair?
Me as a cat on the ground
You in mid-air.
Send in the cats!

Isn’t it bliss, don’t you approve?
One cat keeps tearing around,
One slow to move,
Where are the cats?

Don’t you love farce?
My fault, I fear.
I thought that you’d want what I want,
Sorry, my dear.
But where are the cats?
Send in the cats!
Don’t bother, they’re here!

Catlove, Tahash (with meows properly credited to Mrs. Sondheim)

Chère Tahash,

We’re here, we’re here! But Bastet says she doesn’t care to apply to be a bird-deterrer. She prefers her post as concierge of our home, sitting on the stairs, on a step that gives her a perfect view of outside. She has heard that there is a very popular book in the US right now translated from the French. It’s called The Elegance of the Hedgehog, by Muriel Barbery. She suggests that The Elegance of the Housecat would be a better title. It’s the story of a Parisian concierge, but Bastet thinks that a cat from Le Mans would be just as good a heroine. Madame Bovary was a provincial, after all, and she was good enough for Flaubert. If there is a second edition or a sequel, it may not be too late to write to the author about this!

Catlove, Ioda

Dear Ioda,

Well, we often feature Bastet in our Chronicle column, and that is no small honor!

And speaking of honor, there has been a lot of talk here about our new President getting a dog for his children. That means it will be First Dog. I’d like to know why there is not a First Cat. I think the President and the First Lady are being politically incorrect. What are we? Second class citizens? I actually thought of applying for that position (First Cat), but I don’t think I really want to leave my pet, Susanlady. I just hope she will send me a curry-flavored e-mail from India. Good thing I know how to use the computer! I’ll keep you posted.

Chats with Le Chat Gourmet (click here), by Susan Marx and Louise Thunin-Domaratius, is a cross-cultural cat book cum easy-French-cookbook (for people!) all in one. Feline penpals exchange e-mails across the Atlantic: Ioda, born in Paris, is a black "allée" cat, while Kelly Kat Katz is a Jewish-Irish (vive la diversité!) American cat in New Jersey.