To fully enjoy this trans-Atlantic "pen-paw" relationship, you need to know about the friends:

Tahash (it’s pronounced Ta’ha sh) is an American cat living in New Jersey.
Ioda (sounds like "Yoda") is a French cat (le chat) living in France.
Kallie is Ioda's adopted sister.
Bastet is Ioda's and Kallie's adopted little sister.
Susan is Tahash's servant - from and living in New Jersey.
Louise, Ioda's and Kallie's keeper, is from New Jersey, but lives in France.

Hey, Ioda !

Susanlady was in the country painting the other day, and she says she saw YOU ! Were you here?

Catlove, Tahash

Chère Tahash,

That was NOT me Susanlady saw. For one thing, if I’d gone to the USA for the weekend, I’d have come to play with you. So… I must have a doppelganger! A double. An imitation Ioda? Mais non, it cannot be possible. No other cat can be as sleek, chic and gorgeous as I am. OK, OK. You have everything in America, but me, you have not! Unless I have the gift of ubiquity, as they say, and was really in two places at once. That would be quite a metaphysical feat, wouldn’t it? Maybe I am Saint Ioda… (Why do I hear my mistress screeching with laughter as she types this?).

Meows, Ioda

Dear Ioda,

Well, Susanlady must’ve dozed off in front of her easel and dreamed of a black cat. But you are coming at the end of this month, aren’t you? Susanlady says your mistress is coming over with two little girls, so I expect you’ll be coming too, right? I’ve even worked out a program of fun for the children and you. Here it is:

Day 1 : Play with the cat. (meaning me, of course)
Day 2 : Play with the cat.
Day 3 : Play with the cat.
Susanlady keeps talking about a swimming pool and a lake and a museum and riding lessons and I don’t know what else. Shhh, I’m busy making up the program!
Day 4 : Play with the cat.
Etc. etc.

Catlove, Tahash

Chère Tahash,

I haven’t been told about this trip, but rest assured, I’ll fly over with them. I’ve heard of flying horses and pigs that fly. So “why, oh why can’t I?” Huh? Now, let me concentrate! I think I can feel wings sprouting. UH OH. Here comes Kallie. What happens if she takes me for a bird? Kallie always wants to do her part for natural selection and eliminate those birds that are not of the fittest. And I am no more than an amateur bird. Am I a bird, in fact? Am I a plane? No, I’m super-Ioda! Paws off, Kallie. Back away now! Ahhh, she’s gone!

Whew! Ioda

Dear Ioda,

I’ve been to the beautician’s! Susanlady said she had the itchies, and it might be from me. Fleas! Pffft. How can an indoor cat have fleas? Dan the man was in our apartment the day before and he cleaned the floor. I played on it, even if it was wet from that oily detergent he uses. So when Susanlady took me to Dr. Cameron’s (he’s a vet, but he doubles as a beautician apparently!), he told her those chemicals were dangerous, and he ordered a BATH. FOR A CAT? Susanlady got sent home during the procedure, and in the meantime, I got a shampoo and a good srubbing. To do this, they had to trim my claws so I wouldn’t fight back. How weird! But now I smell divine, and I don’t need to wear a silly flea collar any more.

Damp catkisses, Tahash

Chère Tahash,

NEVER will I go see a vet in the USA. A BATH? Plus a manicure? Or clawicure? How did you stand it? If I smell beautiful, it will be from something delightful and fishy like cod liver oil, for example, not from soap! And did they paint what was left of your claws? Pink? Red? Orange? We French cats are bumpkins in comparison, I guess. France may be the country of high fashion, but not for those of us with four feet.

Love from your provincial feline friend, Ioda

Dear Ioda,

Naaaah, there wasn’t enough left to put claw polish on! But not to worry; they’ll grow back.

Did I ever tell you that my mistress wakes me up in the morning to say goodbye to me? How silly! If I’m sleeping, it’s because I want to sleep. I really need a good self-help book on understanding human behavior. Still, I can’t get mad at her when all she wants is to wish me a fun day and give me a kiss. Does your Mme L do that?

Catlove, Tahash

Chère Tahash,

I am never asleep when Mme L gets up, plus she doesn’t usually go out in the morning, being a lazy bum sort. I am there asking for breakfast with my kid sisters, and then we hack around a bit. Well, they do, and I go upstairs and lie down on the big bed that has been off-premises all night. I settle in for a “hard day’s night”!

Snoozily, Ioda

Dear Ioda,

I didn’t realize you had bedroom privileges during the day! And so do I. Life is not that bad, is it? Take a look at the picture Susanlady took of me today: a little cat on a big, big bed! Can you find me there in the billows and the pillows?

Happy cat daydreams! Tahash

Chats with Le Chat Gourmet (click here), by Susan Marx and Louise Thunin-Domaratius, is a cross-cultural cat book cum easy-French-cookbook (for people!) all in one. Feline penpals exchange e-mails across the Atlantic: Ioda, born in Paris, is a black "allée" cat, while Kelly Kat Katz is a Jewish-Irish (vive la diversité!) American cat in New Jersey.