Lynn Perrier

Having eight cats makes my cat food shopping a task.

Since I accumulated my cats slowly, I did not get into the habit of shopping at the big factory outlet pet food stores until recently. I always managed using the local grocery store. With eight cats however, some major shopping adjustments had to be made. Shopping for my feline crowd, by necessity, has become an organized weekly affair.

When I was a kid there wasn't any manufactured cat food. I can remember my mom feeding our cats milk and bread. Of course, they always got a few morsels passed to them under the table.

As I got a little older things progressed. You then had a choice of canned foods. You could have dog food or cat food. That was it. Those were the choices. Some might find fault with that diet but my cats were always happy and healthy. I don't remember specifically, they probably weren't picky either.

On my last cat food safari, I stood in front of the massive display announcing "Food For Your Precious Cat." There were big cans, little cans, dry food, semi-dry food, bags, boxes and plastic containers. There was a multitude of flavors including chicken & cheese, tuna & egg, whitefish, kitty stew, turkey & giblet, chicken & rice, mackerel, pate Wellington (I kid you not) tuna, beef, liver; segments, chunky, kitten, middle age, senior and diet food. The labels showed pictures of every breed of cat imaginable including one wearing a crown.

One almost needs a degree in veterinary medicine or husbandry to choose. Heaven help us if we get a flavor our precious cats don't like. I'm sure they wouldn't shrink to skin and bones or become reclusive due to the trauma inflicted on them by their cruel human, but I still better not take any chances.

Struggling to remember, I was sure last week I got a supply of Gourmet Pate, Savoury Salmon, and Beef Stew along with Turkey & Giblets for Sunday. I have to make sure I don't duplicate the same menu this week. I'll get them some chicken & rice, pate Wellington, liver & beef. They can have the soft morsel treats for dessert and the dry food is left out all the time. Maybe I'll pick up some soft treats to give them for a bedtime snack.

I spent the better part of an hour reading labels, putting cans into my shopping cart only to remove and replace them three or four times. When I finally had an appropriately diverse selection two stock kids helped me load my car and I drove off.

While driving I started thinking about all those labels and flavors.

Did the companies who supplied them have a team of taste testing cats whom they deliberate with about critical decisions on feeding the feline world? I'll have to look into this further. Maybe I can find a job for a couple of mine so they can contribute to their room and board.

I can just imagine a company meeting would go something like this:

"As Chairman of Finicky Feline Feast, I am thrilled to have the opportunity of making two important announcements today. The first is regarding the latest revolutionary repast from our kitchens.

"With the implementation of its resourceful ingredient, not only cat owners around the world will be singing our praises but we will be applauded by environmental groups worldwide for helping to maintain a planetary balance. The main ingredient in this gastronomical fare is inexpensive, easily obtainable and will propel our own Finicky Feline Feast to the forefront of the pet food industry.

"I would now like to present to you, your first taste of our masterpiece: 'Le Mousee Magnifique' for your dining pleasure."

The second announcement will put Finicky Feline Feast on the books as the most innovative cat food company in the world"

"Having just purchased a manufacturing plant, it is my pleasure to announce a sister company. This arm of Finicky Feline Feast is anticipated to thrill entrepreneurs who will be lining up to purchase our franchises.

"With the acquisition of this manufacturing branch of Finicky Feline Feast, we expect production to be in full force by August 1.

"Operating under the trademark name 'Official Unequivocal Cat Happiness' or 'OUCH.' Our first production of state-of-the-art mouse traps, will be ready for distribution by September 1.

"Thank you for your participation, this meeting is now adjourned."

Lynn Perrier is a Canadian writer. With an often humorous slant, her writing will leave you with food for thought and a smile on your face, especially the articles about her cats, from whom she gets unlimited inspiration. She has created a new website for those suffering from the loss of a beloved pet and invites you to visit  http://www.tributememorial.net